Not sure who out there gives this much thought, but I’ve heard from my therapist that there are a lot of moms like me struggling with being at home, especially after having a career. The work I do in my home is perhaps – no, not perhaps – IS – the greatest work I’ll do in my life. It is purposeful beyond any mission statement that I have worked to support in the corporate world. But, then why do I tend to have my moments of struggle?
Now, to be clear, I am aware of just how privileged I am to be able to stay at home with my kids. I understand some may never be able to afford the opportunity of being home. In fact, I believed that was me until three years ago. You see, for most of my marriage, I was the breadwinner and also carried our health insurance, so I felt a lot of pressure to get it all right so that my family could have what they need. I definitely got a taste of what it feels like for the hardworking man who carries it all on his shoulders. And let me tell you, I was definitely not cut out for it. I was laid off once, and from that point on, I was so very anxious about losing another job. My anxiety only grew as I made more and took on more responsibilities at work. More than anything, I realized that I was defining success only in workplace terms, and that wasn’t where I wanted to be spending my time. I wanted to be at home shaping my children, being there for every moment, good or bad.
What I Miss About Working
So, what do I miss about working?
Let’s be real, please. At times, I miss pulling in a second income. Who couldn’t use more dough?
I miss working towards goals.
I miss the camaraderie that working offered and the rapport that I was able to build up with coworkers.
Three years into being a homeschool mom and I’m still struggling at times with purpose of my role, establishing friendships, and feeling appreciated. Can I have all the things I miss about working as a stay at home mom? Absolutely! I just find it takes some more concerted effort to do that.
So, bringing a solution to the problem, I find my personality type would find more purpose with some sort of side hustle (I’m in the middle of experimenting with a few things), I will aim to be more goal oriented, and I’ll push my comfort zone to go out and form new friendships.
Comparison as a Stay at Home Mom
Comparison is a tiresome game, but I feel that being at home is when one can easily be pulled into it. Is my house as beautiful as these people’s? Are my kids’ school performance up to the standards of these other kids? Am I using my time as efficiently as these other people? No doubt, I must get out of my own head as a stay at home mom. How will I do that?
To stop the comparison, I will care only about the unique traits of my family versus what other people are doing. Every homeschool family is different. My boys are unique – their learning styles, their skillsets, and their talents. Even my parenting style is unique as well as my approach to teaching. I do my best to keep them engaged in their work and as a homeschool mom, I give myself a pat on the back for that.
Let’s Talk
Are you a mom who can relate to this post? What’s your story?
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