I have to be honest about something. For the last few months, I had been having a faith that seemed as if it had been growing weary. I had noticed that seeds of doubt were beginning to be sown in my spirit, and I had to confront them.
Why was I questioning what God can do? Why was I second guessing what is divine vs what is not? I was thinking that I must have been losing faith if I couldn’t be emboldened. My prayers were not of belief but of doubt. A typical thought for me while I was praying was: I know he could do this, but would he? Maybe this was just a natural thought. I imagine many others experience this. For example, I think of all the people that have prayed for healing for themselves or a loved one. There’s so much healing that doesn’t happen earthside. And this, as an example, can make waves in a person’s faith. Experiencing doubt doesn’t make you faithless. Instead, it is an opportunity for God to speak to you.
So, what was causing these swirling doubts to fill my mind? Why was I having such a hard time attributing outcomes to God 100% of the time? Well, I can pinpoint the doubt to when circumstances in a loved one’s life were getting to me and no matter how much I prayed I about it, things were not getting better. I felt as if praying over this person was of no use. And over time, my thoughts turned into what I previously described.
A breakthrough came amidst the doubts, however. As many of us often need to be, I took a moment to be still. I prayed to God to make me bold again. I wanted to have the faith I had previously.
His word to me was quick to the point and simple: “Choose to believe.”
If you’re struggling with a waning faith, just know you’re not alone. God wants you to work through the doubts, and he understands you are human, so don’t forget to give yourself grace. Remind yourself of his sovereignty – He IS in control of everything, even the little things. When you make the choice to believe, you are surrendering that humanity in you and choosing to stand on truth; His truth.
I hope this can be of encouragement to you – push through the doubt and keep the faith!
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